I’m not sure whether or not I’m remembered by the same people I remember. In my last days, I had constructed a nice little house for myself, lodged in a corner of a certain disintegrating blue website. I enrobed it in pink and pictures of clouds, adjusted the code again and again so white sparkles flew off the mouse as it moved, and spent the next two years throwing stones into other recesses of the internet, waiting for them to crash back into the volatile glass of my screen and perfecting the art of deflecting them, first with elaborate retorts and then with reaction images that were engineered to be funny in their lack of suitability.
I demolished my little house two months ago (I mourn for you, mouse-sparkles), deciding the infinite content-fountain of the blue website was a drain on my time, and that the name of the website itself devalued any effort I put into anything on it (also I had a massive public mental breakdown about something very private and personal). But I miss having opinions. I would like to continue publicly having opinions about a very diverse range of things. I would like to write very long opinion pieces (my ideal genre) and supplement them with images and see them retrieved by a search engine and taken seriously by others.
I also miss the women (and the two or three men) who read my old posts. They loved cats! It was insane how much they loved cats. When I posted about breaking up with my first girlfriend, one woman revealed she worked in one of the biggest cat cafes in Eastern Europe and cheered me up by sending me photos and the personal details of around twenty different cats – a massive feline data breach. When I asked my followers about their hobbies, another responded by detailing the elaborate fantasy world she had constructed revolving around her cats. I miss them. If either of you are reading this, I love you!
My intention here is to post a bit like my later days on the Blue Website, but more long-form. I don’t plan to talk much at all on radical feminism – my opinion is growing away from it a little these days, and besides, I think I have basically exhausted the subject. Also I don’t want to get banned.
I’ve planned a few essays I want to write, mainly centred around media criticism, but I want to cover some language-based topics too, which is what I’m hopefully pursuing at university from September onwards. There’s nothing I love more than getting lost in a Wikipedia hole and analysing it and writing about it, and I’m going into this with the hope of somehow doing it constructively? The overarching theme of this paragraph is “I have no idea whatsoever what this blog will be about, but I hope you all enjoy it!”
Yours in joy and sorrow,